Tuesday, 21 December 2010
One of his most famous characters was the Chinese chap who got his r's and l's and d's mixed up resulting in his listeners having great difficulty understanding him, much to his annoyance. In this sketch a Pakistani imigration officer also has difficulty understanding English, particulary when the China Man tries to explain things - hence him saying between his teeth, "Sirry Iriot".
Benny was a bit of an odd ball and was very absent minded. He was a very rich man and left unbanked cheques around. He was not married and 'conned' a lot of people into believing when he died they would be the recipients of large amounts of money. In fact he left them nothing and every penny when to his nephew. I can see him in my mind's eye laughing.
Benny Hill Chinaman
Uploaded by jwj. - Click for more funny videos.
Thursday, 9 December 2010
Just imagine the surprise on the faces of these unsuspecting diners LOL.
It would be wonderful to have that experience - one minute eating and drinking and then . . . . boy! What a powerful message. The Messiah is one of my favourites.
A standing ovation to them.
There are a number of great flash mob you tubes available on the web like this one when 300 people froze for 5 minutes and then moved on. Many instances like this happen all over the world LOL.
Saturday, 4 December 2010
Of course! LOL - you've met him here before. This time he treats us to some Irish funeral stories. Enjoy!
Talking of funerals - I have a great book called "The Book Of Heroic Failures" by Stephen Pile of The Not Terribly Good Club Of Great Britain, where success is scorned and failures encouraged with glee. I quote from "The Funeral That Disturbed The Corpse".
Perhaps the most unsuccessful funeral ever held was that of an oriental missionary called Schwartz. The service was held in Deli at the end of the last century and culminated in the congregation singing the favourite hymn of the recently deceased Dr Schwartz. The mourners were surprised during the final verse to hear a loud voice from within the coffin joining in.
Saturday, 30 October 2010
. . . excuse me while I count my money!
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR . . . . . . .
s m i l i n g . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Still counting . . . . . .
Perhaps some long lost relatives will now be starting to crawl out of the woodwork LOL
Well I've added a bit more . . . .
First my comment:
"Just wanted to see if this news boosted my comment tally and my followers! LOL"
Well the experiment has worked. So far I have had a passing Heron fly in, a retired teacher with a lot of smiles visiting several times, a supremo artist/writer/journalist/you name it and she can do wonderfully, a sister, me (several times), a hound dog LOL, a chef/cookbook writer who might be Bonnie in Bonnie & Clyde plus her friend, a mysterious lady called Cleo - the latter two want me to fly over to help spend my money and say they will send a limo for starters!! What next I wonder! I've just bought the tickets!
That is so far!! . . . . . a very encouraging experiment but wait until the news really breaks in the tabloids LOL
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
Monday, 11 October 2010
Wednesday, 29 September 2010
I had my camera on board a minibus I was driving this afternoon and shot this unusual scene LOL. The incident delayed me for about 10 minutes.
The poor bloke was trying to operate the hydraulics to get a very heavy skip on board and his front wheels were lifted clean off the ground. The whole thing almost tipped over backwards into the front of a house. In the end he just 'went for it' and as the centre of gravity of the load on the fulcrum of the rear wheels passed towards the lorry the front wheels crashed to the ground, he jumped in and drove off.
Motto - always have camera with you!
Thursday, 2 September 2010
One of my favourites is about Egyptian Hieroglyphics featuring Ronnie Barker.
Hope you like. I'll post a few more of these.
Sunday, 15 August 2010
The Bookshop was originally shown as a Monty Python sketch.
I think it is hilarious - enjoy.
Saturday, 7 August 2010
Saturday, 31 July 2010
The British duo Flanders and Swann were the actor and singer Michael Flanders (1922–1975) and the composer, pianist and linguist Donald Swann (1923–1994), who collaborated in writing and performing comic songs.
Between 1956 and 1967 they performed some of their songs in their long-running two-man revues At the Drop of a Hat and At the Drop of Another Hat. Both revues were recorded in concert along with several studio-based tracks.
My favourite sketch is a skit on Mozart's Horn Concerto No 3 where Michael, accompanied by Donald on the piano, sings a woeful tale of his missing French Horn, no doubt much to the relief of the neigbours.
Michael contracted polio in 1943 and was confined to his wheelchair and so both men were seated during their many performances. Sadly both men are no longer with us.
So here it is - I think it is very funny.
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
Friday, 16 July 2010
by Marriott Edgar (1937)
I'll tell of the Magna Carta
As were signed at the Baron's command
On 'Runnymead' Island in t'middle of t'Thames
By King John, as were known as 'Lack Land'.
Some say it were wrong of the Barons,
Their will on the King so to thrust,
But you'll see if you look at both sides of the case
That they had to something, or bust.
For John, from the moment they crowned him,
Started acting so cunning and sly,
Being King, of course, he couldn't do any wrong,
But, by gum, he'd a proper good try.
He squandered the ratepayer's money;
All their cattle and corn did he take,
'Til there wasn't a morsel of bread in the land,
And folk had to manage on cake.
The way he behaved to young Arthur
Went to show as his feelings was bad;
He tried to get Hubert to poke out his eyes,
Which is no way to treat a young lad.
It were alright him being a tyrant
To vassals and folks of that class,
But he tried on his tricks with the Barons an' all,
And that's where he made a faux pass.
He started bombarding their castles,
And burning them over their head,
'Til there wasn't enough castles left to go round,
And they had to sleep six in a bed.
So they went to the King in a body,
And their spokesman, Fitzwalter by name,
He opened the 'ole in his 'elmet and said,
'Concil-latory' like, "What's the game ?"
The King starts to shilly and shally,
He sits and he haws and he hums,
'Til the Barons in rage started knashing their teeth,
And them with no teeth gnashed on t'gums.
Said Fitz', through the 'ole in his 'elmet,
"It was you as put us in this plight,"
And the King having nothing to say to this 'ere
Murmurred, "Leave your address and I'll write."
This angered the gallant Fitzwalter;
He stamped on the floor with his foot,
And were starting to give John a rare ticking off,
When the 'ole in his 'elmet fell shut.
"We'll get him to sign Magna Carta",
Said Fitz' when his face he had freed;
Said the Barons, "That's right and if one's not enough,
Get a couple and happen they'll breed."
So they set about making a Carta,
When at finish they'd got it drawn up,
It looked like a paper on cattle disease,
Or the entries for t'Waterloo Cup.
Next day, King John, all unsuspecting,
And having the afternoon free,
To Runnymead Island had taken a boat,
And were having some shrimps for his tea.
He had just pulled the 'ead off a big 'un,
And were pinching its tail with his thumb,
When up came a barge load of Barons, who said,
"We thought you'd be here, so we've come."
When they told him they'd brought Magna Carta,
The King seemed to go kind of limp,
But minding his manners he took off his hat
And said, "Thanks very much, have a shrimp."
"You'd best sign at once", said Fitzwalter,
"If you don't I'll tell you for a start
The next coronation will happen quite soon,
And you won't be there to take part."
So they spread Carta out on t'tea table,
And John signed his name like a lamb,
His writing in places were sticky and thick
Through dipping his pen in the jam.
And it's through that there Magna Carta,
As were signed by the Barons of old,
That in England today we can do what we like,
So long as we do what we're told.
Sunday, 11 July 2010
Had a little chuckle over this one again recently.
John Cleese and Michael Palin performed many subsequent live performances of this Monty Python sketch throughout the years. The sketch is classic British comedy and very well known in UK. A while ago everyone knew it off by heart, including me, and it was very popular.
I did find another live version of the sketch some time ago but unfortunately I cannot locate it again for this post, which is a shame.
Some joker, maybe Palin himself, presented John Cleese with a cloth covered parrot cage. As he walked on stage for the performance the audience squealed with laughter as John pulled back the cloth revealing inside a large live red parrot - definitely not dead and definitely not a Norwegian Blue. Both Palin and Cleese collapsed in laughter and the whole sketch became instantly useless, with Cleese holding the cage high and saying, "This is what I call a live parrot!" The pet shop owner revelled in his ad-lib line, "I told you there was nothing wrong with it!" They both forgot their lines but by sheer genius Cleese shouted to the audience, "What comes next?" and instantly 40 voices delivered the correct cue and they had to ad lib all the way through imagining that the parrot was dead. They struggled through the sketch, including the part when the pet shop owner said he had a slug who could say a few words, which made Cleese laugh. If I had been there I would have asked the audience, "Has anyone got a dead parrot?", in an attempt to get the thing on track again.
Of the two Palin was the more likely to break down laughing during the sketch and he was inclined to alter the rules a bit without telling John. In one version when Cleese complained that the parrot was dead, Palin, as the pet shop owner, apologised and presented him with vouchers as compensation. Again the entire sketch was ruined as Palin disappeared from stage leaving a bewildered, open mouthed Cleese facing the audience in silence. You could see his 'gear wheels' revving like mad to think of something to say to rescue the situation! The audience screamed with laughter.
Whatever they did with it the sketch always ended in tumultuous applause, especially with the live red parrot version with the parrot still flapping it's wings announcing to the world it was very much alive. I'll look again for the You Tube - hope I can find it.
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
I came across this You Tube clip by accident tonight
Just imagine sitting in the interview chair and losing it like this!
I could watch it a thousand times and still laugh, even though I do not speak any Dutch and my first viewing was a version without sub titles. I laughed even though I felt very sorry for the interviewees.
Upon closer examination I found another version which explains that the interviewer actually lost his TV career that night.
And another example - this time and American lady newsreader has to leave the set.
Why do they lose it?
The subject matter on the first example was so serious. I guess it was the first chap's high pitched voice followed by the second chap's low pitch voice. But he was in hysterics long before the second chap stated talking.
Monday, 28 June 2010
Sunday, 20 June 2010
This is one of my favourite pieces of music.
I always love to listen to stuff like this when I am decorating and doing jobs around the house. So you might imagine the CDs and classical radio have been working overtime during our recent kitchen refurbishments.
A good friend of mine has been pushing herself a bit too hard of late, so my advice is to get a hunk of cheese and some crackers, tie yourself in a chair, and listen to this wonderful music by my all time favourite composer . . . Mozart himself. This is the slow movement, the Larghetto, although it is all wonderful.
I was rather amused by some of the camera work during this piece. Just as the violin took over the melody the video zoomed in on the wrong instrument, the cello. I used to do the same thing sometimes when I was videoing my daughter's musicals, like Guys and Dolls. And if you zoom back to where it should be it makes things worse because the action has moved to yet another place - and you end up playing catch up! I had a little chuckle over this.
This lyrical masterpiece compliments the more famous Clarinet Concerto, which is equally beautiful.
Just where did this man get his melodies? He was taken from life very young, aged just 35, generally understood from Rheumatic Fever. Just imagine what he might have produced had he lived to 60 or 70. The mind boggles.
Oh and I suppose I had better end by telling you my joke:
Q. What did Mozart start doing as soon as he died?
A. Decomposing of course!
Monday, 14 June 2010
The subject today is highly unusual and I do not think the way Dave deals with this is in any way offensive.
See what you think LOL
Allen learned his trade the old-fashioned way, touring extensively with theatre groups and performing in nightclubs and working men's clubs. His first television break came in Australia, when his own show, Tonight With Dave Allen, was commissioned in 1963. Initially intended to run for eight weeks, its popularity was so great that it lasted 18 months. He returned to England and appeared on the ATV television show Sunday Night at the Palladium alongside the Beatles. His appearance on the Val Doonican Show in 1965 led to the BBC offering him his own show. The result, the British version of Tonight With Dave Allen, began in 1968, and its wittily engaging and informative style proved an immediate success. In 1971, BBC2 commissioned Dave Allen at Large. With a mixture of straight to camera monologues and sketches, it became one of the decade's highest-rating programmes, although satirical attacks on religion meant controversy was rarely far away. During the 70s, Allen also returned to acting, appearing on the London stage in several productions, produced documentaries for the BBC and American TV, and wrote several books.
In 1978, he appeared in an Alan Bennett play for television, and returned to live stand-up comedy with successful tours of Britain, Australia and New Zealand. In 1981, a two-week engagement at the Wilbur theatre in Boston proved less successful, with the US audiences finding the sacrilegious content of his act more difficult to stomach.His superb storytelling ability ensured that he remained on TV screens until recent years. Between 1981 and 1990, he made two series, simply entitled Dave Allen, for the BBC, and one for ITV in 1993-94. His use of a swear word on air in 1990 prompted the BBC to issue a public apology and MPs to ask questions about him in the Commons. Allen, who is survived by his wife and three children, spent recent years in semi-retirement.
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
I have, 40 years ago and it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life - but I made it.
Nicotine is a powerful drug and apparently almost as difficult as heroine to stop taking.
I was a 40 cigarette a day man and was an total addict. Several of us at work were trying to stop so 6 of us were resolved one day to actually try to 'kick the nasty habit', after all if God had intended us to smoke he would have put chimneys on our heads wouldn't he? It was about this time I started long distance running. I was a fair distance runner at school and it was a delight to start again. My times over a six mile run reduced significantly and I became quite fit with a pulse rate at rest of just 47 beats per minute. You might say I was Puffed Out!!
On the day in question all six of us placed our names on a sheet of paper in the printing room and after each day we filled in a little square which we continued to do after each day. The Publications Manager was a complete flop - he lasted just 20 minutes. Various other people sneaked off the the toilets with increasing frequency for a quiet and crafty 'drag' but after a week three of us kept going. We bolstered ourselves by adding on our no smoking corner anti - smoking notices. At the time there was an advertisement, "People think the world of Lambert and Butler". I modified this to read, "Funeral Directors think the world of Lambert and Butler".
It was difficult for 6 months and even up to a year I could easily have started again. When I stopped the cost was 3s 6p (old money) which equates to 17.5 new pence for 20. Now they are £5 per 20. That is over 28 times as much - I must have saved a small fortune.
All this leads to our old friend Dave Allen and his attempts to stop the evil habit. Enjoy!
Monday, 31 May 2010
Friday, 21 May 2010
David Allen's real name was Tynan O'Mahoney (6 July 1936 – 10 March 2005). His career had a major resurgence during the late 1980s and early 1990s. Allen's act was typified by his relaxed, rueful and intimate style; he would sit on a high bar stool facing his audience, smoking and occasionally sipping from a glass of what he always allowed people to assume was whiskey, but in fact was merely ginger ale with ice. Literally and metaphorically, he was a sober-minded man who, though sometimes appearing crotchety and irritable on stage, gave off an air of serene melancholy in real life. Each day he would pore over the newspapers, constantly scribbling notes and ideas which he expanded for his routines.
This YouTube sketch is typical of the many we enjoyed. He used tension a lot in his sketches and had us sitting on the edge of our seats.
Hope you enjoy.
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
I always love this time because it really does put a spring in my step - especially now I have a new hip. I do like it warm and perhaps I am a sunshine boy!
At about this time I am always reminded of Beethoven's Spring Sonata for Violin and Piano.
Here is the entire work in all four wonderful movements, but the first movement is the most well known. It's a bit lengthy but beautiful and of course it is played by Anne Sophie Mutter on violin. The pianist is Lambert Orkis who the pianist is but he is brilliant too. The whole of the sonata is fantastic - all four movements.
Hope you liked it.
Sunday, 9 May 2010
"What is that song he sang? It's on the tip of my tongue!", you might be saying.
Come on! Have a think!
Yes, Chantilly Lace and here it is!
You know I used to sing this and knew every word - got everyone's feet tapping in the days when my hips were in mint condition! LOL
But there was tragedy around that time in 1959
I did not know Ritchie Valence very well but I just loved Buddy Holly. I had ocassion to send the URL of Maybe Baby to a great friend today and this inspired me to write this post.
Here is my favourite song by Buddy, True Love Ways. Enjoy.
Isn't it sad that these three plus the pilot were all killed in the plane crash?
Come to think of it a lot of singers have been killed in plane crashes. You may know more but here are five more I can think of - I know there are more:
Jim Denver (I think)
Monday, 3 May 2010
Meanwhile enjoy this one about the seaside 'carryings on' LOL
Hope you enjoy!
You are probably saying of me, "Oh! he is awful! But we like him" LOL
Saturday, 1 May 2010
I know you like these. Here is the vicar for you - well it is Sunday tomorrow!! LOL
But it is great to welcome everyone. Hey folks! Be careful what you say - he is very sensitive on certain words. Hope you all enjoy it. Golly! he gets through a lot of crockery, doesn't he?
Jackie - inspired by your nice blue top I was trying earlier to find Stanley Holloway singing "A dark Girl Dressed In Blue!" Alas there is no Youtube but I found an MP3 version which I will have ready soon I hope.
And here is part of an interview when Michael Parkinson interviewed Dick - very funny!
I am rather quiet in blogland at present - I have a lot on and cannot devote much time to it for now.
Hugs to all!
Wednesday, 21 April 2010
My heart throb lady is there, Sophia Loren, whom I loved so much when I was a young buck. She was not actually the most beautiful lady on the planet but she was certainly the most attractive and turned every head in every room she entered which reflected the charisma she had. Today she is 76 and the same age as Joan Collins, and even now they can both turn heads. I saw Joan Collins on the TV recently being interviewed by Piers Morgan, who will be taking over The Sunday Roast quite soon, and she was fabulous.
The male treat I have for you is one of my favourite comedians who died quite young. He married a film star, Britt Ekland whom I also liked. (No wonder the poor chap had a heart attack with all these attractive ladies around him)
Peter Sellers was one of the famous goons and he was glorious as Inspector Clouseau in The Pink Panther movies. I still maintain the best Panther movie was his first with David Niven, who should have been the star of the film, but Peter Sellers stole the show with his brilliance.
Peter Sellers teamed up with Sophia Loren to make a famous film and two hit recordings. I have found two YouTube Clips of both hits they made together.
First is Give Us A Hash At The Bangers And Mash and you know it could almost be Eddie Bluelights and Lola singing LOL - but shhh I don't want to make Marguerite jealous LOL!
And of course the other is from their famous film, Goodness Gracious Me.
I thought at one stage she was going to say to him, "Oh you are awful - but I like you!"
Thursday, 15 April 2010
Monday, 12 April 2010
Dick Emery was a great British comedian and as a boy my family always watched the Dick Emery show every week.
I stumbled across this hilarious YouTube of his Driving Test Centre sketch in which he uses all his main characters. I like the vicar with the false teeth and the lady who says, "Oh you are awful - but I like you!" I found it a hoot.
Hope you enjoyed it.
By popular demand of one 'invisible lady' viewing this post who allegedly had a laughing fit and was reduced to tears and unable to comment I am adding another Youtube dealing with what some of the characters would do on bank holidays. This features another British comedienne, Pat Coombs who appears in the lengthy last scene and next door neighbour to the lady who swapped the hanging baskets.
Hope you enjoyed that one - plenty more where that came from LOL.
Oh shall I treat you to one more? Oh go on then - the milkman - we used to have door to door delivery before the advent of supermarkets and hypermarkets. I am told there were some naughty goings on as well - wouldn't know for sure I was only a lad!! LOL
Somehow I can hear you all saying, "Oh! You ARE awful! But I like you!! LOL
Now get on with your work!! LOL
Sunday, 21 March 2010
Do you think I'm up to it? Do you think the hip is up to it after just 5 weeks?
How the heck do they move their legs so quickly - and ALL in unison?
Looking for a partner - anyone interested?
Move over Michael Flatley!!
Seriously, came across the You Tube yesterday and reminded me of when I used to marvel at the dancing. The finale is superb.
I bet none of these dancers have leg circulation problems nor varacose veins!
This You Tube has a few other great takes on it.
Thursday, 11 March 2010
Well I've got one thing to say to you - read the T shirt!!! LOL
OK - I suppose now I have an artificial hip you might be tempted to say, "This chap's walking around with very little he started out with!"
No, this well loved song was a great hit and sung by a local entertainer, near Bristol. He reached number six in the UK hit parade in 1981. The man who wrote it and performed it was Fred Wedlock, a much loved fellow from the Bristol area. Sadly he died this week aged 67 after a heart attack following pneumonia.
His funeral is today, Monday 16 March in a beautiful church, St Mary Redcliffe, near the center of Bristol at 13.30hrs. It is expected the church will be packed with family, fans and friends. His daughter, Hannah Wedlock sings Jazz throughout the South West and is a highly accomplished performer.
I still find Fred's rendition of this favourite song highly amusing.
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
Monday, 1 February 2010
This could be every bloggers song because words don't always come easy, although on my last post at Clouds And Silvery Linings I used a fair few trying to explain the antics of Freddie Bluelights with his lecture on why women can multi-task better than us menfolk, see HERE.
Don't believe a word of it - I have a picture of an ancient monk transcribing biblical manuscripts. Unbelievably he has a pen in each hand and he is writing different things neatly all at the same time. Now that's what I call multi-tasking LOL.
Anyway this song is just for you - I heard it on the radio today and made a beeline to find a suitable YouTube rendition, and here it is . I have always loved this song.
So this is just for you from Eddie Blue Eyes.
Sunday, 17 January 2010
I was looking for some guitar music which might interest my son who is teaching himself to play the acoustic and electric guitar. Then I remembered BREAD and David Gates from all those years ago. As soon as I played them my son loved them all too.
All three songs moved me intensely 30 years ago and believe it or not, they still do today.
The first, DIARY, is a delightful song about a young man reading a young lady's diary (naughty boy) and jumping to the wrong conclusion. Haven't we all done this from time to time? Not read ladies diaries but jumped to the wrong conclusion.
Next is a great song, LOST WITHOUT YOUR LOVE
Next is another famous BREAD song, EVERYTHING I OWN
Of course I could have mentioned many more hits like IF and others.
I hope you ladies had your handkerchiefs with you.
What a big old softy Mr Bluelights is!!
Saturday, 2 January 2010
One of his best known gags was from the Goon Show when he held up a scull in front of his fellow goons saying, "This scull is 200,000 years old!"
They all sang, "Happy Birthday to you!"
Did you know that Spike left these immortal words on his grave headstone as his epitaph?
I TOLD YOU THERE WAS
SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME